May 30 2006
Debut! The Pinoy Way
I was thrilled when we received the invitation. Jaimee, a young Filipina living and studying (or studied, she’s graduating this week) in Phnom Penh, was celebrating her eighteenth birthday and her parents were throwing her a debutante’s ball (or what we simply call debut) in the grand old Filipino tradition right here in Phnom Penh. I haven’t been to one of those in a long time.
I remembered long long long long ago when I was young. I used to love getting invited to to be part of the cotillon d’honor. I attended an all-girls Catholic high school so I didn’t know too many boys, much less have a boyfriend. So being part of the cotillon was my chance to meet some boys and even hold hands with them. 
I remember all those practices in the big houses of my rich classmates in La Vista or Xavierville or Forbes and eating all their good food. I remember trying hard to remember all the steps of the waltz while avoiding stepping on my partner’s feet. I know, I know… there are only three steps, but what do you expect from someone who has two left feet? I remember how the gay instructor would blow his top when he heard any of us counting out loud “1-2-3, 1-2-3.” I remember trying hard not to be confused with all those formations: girls on the inside, boys on the outside; square dance with another pair; going under the bridge of hands; and of course the dreaded cadena (chain) where we had to go round and round trying out all the boys until you came back to your partner (Oops! That didn’t sound so good!). The most difficult part of rehearsals was when the instructor would tell us to remove our Tretorns/Espadrilles/topsiders/loafers (it was the eighties!) and change into heels. I also remember this one time when I had to wear this mint green dress with a balloon skirt. I was quite chubby then (okay, okay! I still am now!) and very dark too as I was swimming everyday, and with the mint green dress, I looked like a piece of Stork candy.
Myself, I didn’t have that kind of debut. Instead, my parents gave me a Yamaha electronic organ. I had a small party with my choir friends from Kamuning while Arnold, the choir organist, simply played Strauss’s On the Beautiful Blue Danube on my new electronic organ while all the boys danced the waltz with me one by one. We all wore shorts and jeans instead of barongs and gowns, and Tretorns/Espadrilles/topsiders/loafers instead of black leather shoes and heels. We drank Coke instead of wine and ate spaghetti and fried chicken instead of roast beef and paella. That was fun!
So I was quite excited to attend this debut, probably the first to be held in Cambodia. The ballroom of the Intercontinental Hotel, filled to capacity with Filipinos in Cambodia and friends and family of the debutante, was adorned with baby pink balloons while the ceiling was flashed with baby pink flowers in laser lights. The buffet dinner was just sumptuous. And of course, the highlight of the evening was the cotillon.
Jaimee, the debutante, studied in an international school so her cotillon d’honor was composed of kids of different races and nationalities. Eighteen handsome young men in suits (and most of them quite uncomfortable, hehe) and eighteen beautiful young ladies in baby pink dresses entered upon the introduction of a Strauss waltz. I was amazed how the girls’ clothes were so different now from what we used to wear all those years ago. Long long long long ago, we wore ball gowns with ballon skirts made of tulle. We were quite conservative then with our shoulders and necks fully covered with frilly lace. Any girl who showed some cleavage was labeled as kikay. But now, all the young ladies wore very beautiful stylish and elegant tube sleeveless gowns showing off their smooth shoulders, arms, back, and yes, cleavage. They looked very pretty and charming.
Can I have this dance?
1-2-3 1-2-3! Ouch!
Going round and round and round. Ooops! Where’s my partner?
After the cotillon, Jaimee made her grand entrance in her ‘introduction to society as a young lady’. She marched resplendently around the dance floor and made her way on stage. The eighteen young men each presented her with a single red rose while the eighteen young ladies each lit a candle for and blew wishes for her. Eighteen adults who are close friends, family, or mentors of Jaimee gave her eighteen symbolic gifts while delivering short speeches. Jaimee’s bestfriend offered her a toast. Her brother, KC, presented a touching and beautiful powerpoint presentation of Jaimee since she was a baby until now that she’s a young lady celebrating her eighteenth birthday and preparing to go to college in Manila.
I must say that Jaimee deserves all these as she has been exceptional in school (a consistent honor student), a well-rounded individual (student council, choir, band, etc.) and a good and dutiful daughter. Best wishes to you Jaimee and good luck when you go to school in Manila!
What an evening! No one celebrates debuts quite like the Pinoy!
- Where are the Books and Shows for Filipino Children?
- Wedding at the Catskill Mountains
- The Choir in Kamuning
- More on Filipino/Pilipino/Tagalog, Being Bilingual, Atbp.
- Banawe Rice Terraces, Not One of the New Seven Wonders
Print This Post
i’ve never been to one before. i guess my friends back then weren’t the type who would give a ball for their 18th birthdays. nevertheless, the purpose of all the blitz is to have fun. i’m sure everybody had fun at that party.
The only one I’ve ever been to was my younger cousin’s ball. Tsinoys from my generation aren’t that big on debutant balls. Times are a changing though, these days, more and more affluent Fil-Chinese are getting into the spirit of ‘balling’. Is that even a word? hehehe
These debut parties can really be grand.I remember crying on my 18th birthday coz I didn’t have one. I’ll make sure my daughters will , haha. Regards Toe..
I didn’t have one and I’ve never participated in one either.
A few Filipino parents here in Winnipeg are also throwing debut parties for their daughters. But there’s also a few who are opting out and instead are giving their kids expensive presents, such as their own car. And some just throw small parties.
i never had one. when i turned 18 kasi, i didn’t really like to have one din. pero now, parang gusto ko magkaron
Hi Duke! Yeah, debutante’s balls are not everyone’s cup of tea. It’s a lot of work planning the event, designing the dress, practicing, sending out invitations, etc.. But you’re right… it is fun, especially when you get invited… you get to eat all that food and someone else pays for it. And then party! Hehehe!
Sngl, haha… “balling!” That’s funny. I have never been to a debut of a Chinese-Filipino before either. But boy! Your weddings sure are grand!
Ajay, invite me to your daughters’ debut ha!
Better stop saving. That’s 18×2 pairs for the cotillon! Whew! 
Hi Niceheart. Really? They also have Filipino-style debuts in Canada? I guess throwing a debut to your daughter would depend on your budget, your daughter’s preference (I didn’t want one for me… and if my parents could afford it, I would have asked for a car), and if she’s deserving. I definitely don’t approve of girls who are flunking out of school and still celebrating their debuts. I also don’t like it if the parents have to borrow money just so they can throw their daughter a debut.
That’s okay, Tin-Tin! You can make up for it either on your wedding or on your daughter’s debut.
ha ha, I loved being part of the cotillon. came from an all-girls school, too. and yes, I remember the ball gowns and the maria clara themed dresses I had to wear then. it was fun being young and carefree. tnx for this post toe, it made me smile remembering my teenage years:)
Hi Jane. It was quite an honor to get invited to be part of the cotillon no? And it was so much fun!
Hi tita!! thanks for coming to my debut and writing this awesome blog as well! So cool to read about my debut on the net haha… yup the practices were tiring – i actually learned the steps too and danced for some people when they were absent hehe… k thanks again! Cya! Take Care!
Hi Jaimee. Glad you liked this entry. I enjoyed your party. Study hard and good luck with school!
Dear Toe and your Honey,
We were honored by your presence at the party and elated all the more that you enjoyed yourselves and even wrote about it. We owe the success of the event to talented and dedicated friends and family who helped us with all the preparations – truly a labor of love.
I have printed this article and will include it in an album. God bless…
Hi Mommy Su. We enjoyed the party… obvious ba?
Maybe we can see the pictures sometime. 
Yes sure! The pictures are here but the video is not yet ready. I returned it because some important parts are missing – my speech and Jaimee’s! I also realized after seeing the pictures that there’s one thing we missed — picture taking with Jaimee and guests in each table.
Will bring the album over sometime… C ya
hi, i’m maycee, obvious, di ba? i really have great time in attending several debuts, but i never had a debut when i was 18! my daughter had a very simple debut party.
this time a friend will be celebrating her debut on july 20, and i am asked to help plan the grand party, i hope i can make it really memorable for her.
i am open to any suggestion to make it really fun……….pleeeease help me…
Hi Maycee! Thanks for visiting my blog! I didn’t have a debut either. But I remember that at my wedding (which was also very simple), one of the most memorable things was when we released hundreds of butterflies from a cage. It was so beautiful! Maybe, you can try that.
A powerpoint presentation of the debutante’s pictures since she was a baby would also be very nice.
Hey!! umm u dont kno me n i dont kno u but i saw ur wat u posted n it seems relli nice…especially by looking at the pics…i was wonderin if maybe u can help me with sum tips of ideas…becuz im havin mine n i need to plan…being sumone whose had theres i wud relli appreciate it thnx!
So jus email me on the address!:)!!
Hi Kim! Thanks for visiting my blog. When is your birthday? I didn’t have a debut of my own and I was just a guest in the debut I described above but I can help you a little because I did plan my own wedding, it’s a little similar.
Sit down with your parents or sister or friend, and discuss the following checklist:
- budget
- venue
- theme
- dress
- program (cotillon? powerpoint presentation? songs? dance?)
- escort
- food
- guest list
- invitations
- music (PA or live band/orchestra?)
- decorations
If you feel really lost, you may also go to an events planner. I think there are lots in Manila. You can check in the Internet.
Good luck and advanced Happy Birthday to you!
hi!
gee, thanks for the suggestions, tomorrow will be my friend’s birthday ball. i have arranged to have her pictures from infancy up to her latest pic taken by her cellfon as you have suggested by powerpoint.i have prepared a program complete with a production number aside from the cotillon d’ honor. there must be a pabitin just like a kiddie party.
i hope she will like what i will be doing. good luck to me!!!
Good luck Maycee! I’m sure your friend will enjoy her ball and appreciate all your work. Do tell me what happens.
I hope this blog is still open for discussion. I just bumped into this site just now as I am also planning for a Debut for my daughter. It’s 2 years from now, but we don’t have a solid Filipino community here in Miami for me to pattern her Debut party. As a mother, I have a question for Toe. What has a girl’s birthday party, her becoming a woman, has anything to do with her scolastics? She will only turn 18 once in her lifetime, she can never have that back … but she has 4 more years in college to fix her grades. Just my 2 cents, but I’m glad you enjoyed Jaimee’s grand celebration.
That looked liked a great celebration and very lavish. My daughter is turning seven. Does anyone know about the seven candles and roses ceremony in detail and what other things I can do during her celebration. How about attire?
hey, im celebrating my debut in less than three weeks and i havent prepared much! i have just reserved the venue and still deciding which caterer to get. what would you suggest for the theme or motif? i want something not too formal nor ordinary. i would really appreciate your reply. thanks!
Hi Sunshine, sorry super late reply. I’m not really an expert. I just attended the debut I described above… a mere spectator. I, for one, didn’t even have my own debut. Anyway, I do believe that education takes a priority. But if you want your daughter to have both, maybe a debutante’s ball could be a motivation for her… maybe, like a reward if she gets good grades.
Hi Rose, thanks for visiting my blog and I’m sorry for the late reply. I think the roses and candles ceremony is really for grown-ups. But anyway, for debutantes, special female friends and family give her a candle each (18 total) and the male friends and family give her a rose each (also 18 total). Before they give their roses or candles, they say to the celebrant the special wishes for her. There could be some variation, like some of the givers could sing or dance or recite a poem.
Hi Leah, I’m really not a party organizer. Myself, I didn’t have a debut. The theme of my wedding was Filipiniana.
Your theme of your debut must have to do something with what you’re interested in… movies? books? sports? Ask your friends to brainstorm with you. Good luck and advanced Happy Birthday!
hi!!
my names kat, my friend is having her 18th birthday this month and i dont know wat to give her. so because you’ve already experienced this. What did the pipol in your party give you as presents? do you still remember them. hehehe… tnx. and ingatz po…
p.s. nice pictures!!!
hi..leah
my friend is having her 18th birthday this week and i dont know what to give her..and i will give a “symbolic gift”.what are the symbolic gifts given to you..i hope tanda mo p..and pls suggest me the best gift you think..
Would it be weird if I wanted to celebrate my debut on my 21st birthday since I didn’t get a chance to have one on my 18th? Would that ruin tradition? Although, I am fully aware that 21st birthday are for guys’ debut. Should I consider it?
Hi! Ma’am,
Thanks to my husband who helped me find your email address….
Thanks to you, too.
Sincerely,
JAsmin
Your blog is interesting!
Keep up the good work!
hi, i have a question. should dinner come first before the 18 roses or is it the other way around? =p
[url=http://clofaziminefou.beep.com/files/]clofazimine[/url] [url=http://zetianejmfou.beep.com/files/]zetia nejm[/url] [url=http://remeroncavefou.beep.com/files/]remeron cave[/url] [url=http://altacelaserfou.beep.com/files/]altace laser[/url] [url=http://estradioltfou.beep.com/files/]estradiol t[/url] [url=http://andzyrtecfou.beep.com/files/]and zyrtec[/url] [url=http://actosdrugsfou.beep.com/files/]actos drugs[/url] [url=http://prozacusesfou.beep.com/files/]prozac uses[/url] [url=http://frankursofou.beep.com/files/]frank urso[/url] [url=http://riskimitrexfou.beep.com/files/]risk imitrex[/url]