Sep 08 2008
Getting My Driver’s License
For the first twenty-three years of my life, I had a perennial headache. I thought that I was simply frail or delicate (Frail or delicate? Moi? Hrhrhr). Then suddenly, my headaches stopped? Why? I learned how to drive. I realized that the culprit is the driving of Manoy, our family driver of more than thirty years.
Note: You may be wondering why twenty-three years, when Filipinos could get a driver’s license at eighteen. Well, I’m such a klutz and slow learner that I had to renew my student’s permit for five years.
Don’t get me wrong about Manoy though. I love the old guy. He is fiercely loyal and dedicated to our family. Before I got married, I think I’ve probably spent more hours with him than any other person in the world. He took me everywhere and waited for me for endless hours – school, piano lessons, swimming lessons, piano recitals, swimming competitions, parties, soirees. He made sure that my feet never got wet when it rained and that not-so-acceptable boys kept themselves at bay. He was also my own personal assistant when I took the Philippine bar nine years ago (see this post). So never mind if he’s a clutch driver who is accelerator hungry complimented by his love for sudden brakes and driving too near speeding jeepneys.
So now I am back in this crazy great city of Manila after six years in Cambodia. I can choose to go around this city by a) enduring Manoy’s driving, b) getting myself pushed and kicked around in the MRT, or c) driving myself. I chose c. Unfortunately, my driver’s license has been expired for 5 years. When I was still living in Cambodia, everytime I visited the Philippines, I refused to renew my license because a) I didn’t want to take the disgusting drug test and b) I didn’t want to take the disgusting drug test. But now, unless I either wanted my childhood headaches to return or pack myself like a sardine in an MRT car, I had to take the disgusting drug test.
So one day on my first week in Manila, I just squared my shoulders and braced myself and told myself, “welcome to the Philippines, Toe. Let’s do that disgusting drug test.”
Note: You couldn’t renew your license in the malls where they have cleaner bathrooms (well, half) if your license is expired for more than one year. So I had to go to the main LTO in East Avenue.
So off I went… with Manoy of course… who ironically had to drive for me before I could drive for myself. He brought me to East Avenue across the LTO where there were rows of untidy shanties offering all kinds of food and services – photocopying, notarization, livelihood training, live snakes, and goodness knows what… and of course the disgusting drug test.
To really re-initiate me back to Manila urban living, it happened to be raining cats and dogs that day. I had to pull up my jeans as I walked the flooded gutters to the so-called laboratory. Manoy, who is an expert on this, as he has accompanied all my siblings and my parents for their drug tests, led the way as he held an umbrella to protect me from the rain (ala-Imelda style) on one hand and carried all my documents on the other (told you I love the old guy… even if he drives horribly).
Finally, at the end of the row of shanties, after I got my feet wet and my shoes muddy, we finally reached the laboratory. A queue of men reeking of cigarettes were already waiting sitting on the monobloc chairs in a tiny hall where the flood waters from outside was seeping in making the floor entirely wet. My heart sank when I saw the bathroom where I had to pee. The floor was wet… heck, the entire tiny bathroom was wet and the toilet operated on the buhos system (flushing it with a pail of water) that it makes the toilet seat, yes, wet, so if you put tissue on it for sanitary reasons, the tissue gets all wet and mushy. Oh heck! I had to do what I had to do. After the man before me did his thing (with the door open, mind you), the tiny girl who was in charge of doing the buhos did the buhos and handed me a small cup. I armed myself with a gigantic roll of tissue, handed my purse to Manoy, who protectively held on to it. I told Manoy, “guard this door with your life.” I didn’t have to tell him that though as I know that he’d do it anyway.
So after much struggle that no man could ever sympathize with or comprehend, I handed my wiwi slash specimen at the window where God knows what they do to analyze it. I don’t really care as they were accredited and as long as they certify that I’m no junkie. Imagine… I had to pay P300 to undergo that torture.
The rains continued to pour but I had to go to another clinic in that place. I had to take my medical exam. I don’t know what kind of medical exam that was… they just took my weight (no, you naughty reader… I am NOT divulging my weight here), my height (and neither would I reveal my height), and made me read some lines from the eye chart… I paid the fee… and voila… I had a clean bill of health.
Okay… so finally… I could now go to the LTO as my documents were complete. I had to go through the compulsory fixers of course waiting for their prey at the entrance of the LTO and whom I warded off ever so politely. “Oh, thank you kind sir but I could manage to renew my license quite well on my own,” (in Filipino, of course) flashing them my sweetest ever after-drug test smile.
I got the form for license renewal, change of status (from single to married), and delinquent license. Surprisingly, the first part was pretty easy. They were quite organized in LTO and they had directions for everything. I forgot exactly the steps I did and in what order… submitting my form for evaluation, paying, and getting my picture taken.
I thought that I’d be finished before lunch… when whoa. They called my name… “Miss Toe, Miss Toe, please proceed to the lecture room for your exam review.” Whaaaa? I had to take the exam? Oh my goodness! I’ve forgotten all the rules and I’ve just come from Cambodia where no rules apply. Sigh! As it happened, I don’t know why they called it a lecture room when they neither gave any lectures nor was it a room. It was just a row of benches where they gave you review manuals/sample tests to read.
Okay, I thought. This couldn’t be so hard. I know all the colors in the traffic light and I know what a No Parking sign looks like. So I proceeded to read the first question. Now, I take great pride in being fluent in both English and Filipino, but when I saw that my review exam was in Filipino, my heart sank anyway… but only because I read slower in Filipino. Still, I tried taking the sample test. First question:
Ano ang ibig sabihin kung sumesenyas and drayber ng kanyang kaliwang kamay na nakaturo sa ibaba? (What does it mean when a driver makes a hand signal pointing his left hand downwards?)
Piece of cake, I thought. It means he’s turning left. Wrong! It means he’s stopping. (To turn left, he has to point to the left… naturally… duh!).
Saan dapat nakaturo ang iyong gulong kung nakaparada ka ng pataas? (At what direction should your wheels be pointed at when you are parked uphill?)
Magkano ang multa pag nahuli ka ng nagmamaneho sa ilalim ng impluwensiya ng alkohol? (How much is the fine for driving under the influence of alcohol?)
So far, I was zero out of three. This wasn’t going well at all. So I just stayed there and studied as if I was reviewing for the bar… not that I cared about having a driver’s license at that point. But because it was quite embarrassing to flunk a driver’s license exam when I used to drive all the way from Kamuning to Makati for 5 years and then from Kamuning to Pasay for 2 years, everyday in a previous life.
Finally, I was ready to take the exam. Rrrrrrrring! Sorry… lunch break. I had to wait until 1:00 pm to take the written exam. @#$%! There goes all my afternoon plans.
Anyway, when I got back in the afternoon, I thought that I would have it all wrapped up in an hour or so and in I went into the exam room. Before we sat down on our desks, the examiner briefed us a little. We needed to get 30 questions right out of 40 to pass, she said. And we couldn’t take the exam immediately in case we flunk, so if we needed more time to review, she said that we could take the next exam. Some of the men (why are they always men who are in the LTO?) backed out and opted to review more. But because I was foolhardy brave, I decided to take the exam.
Before the examiner gave me my test questions, she asked, “English or Filipino?” I got confused. Wasn’t my reviewer in Filipino? But I said English anyway. But she continued grilling me, “did you review in English or Filipino?” I said Filipino. “Are you sure you want to take the exam or do you want to review some more and this time in English?” Conscious of the fact that there was a queue waiting behind me to get their exam questions and embarrassed with the thought that I needed more time to review, I opted to take the exam right there and then. So here goes:
What is the speed limit in a school zone?
At an intersection with a four-way stop, which driver can go first?”
How faraway from the intersection should you signal if you’re turning left? a) 20 meters, b) 30 meters, c) 40 meters, d) none of the above.”
I was in trouble. Big time. And I handed in my test answers with a heavy heart, comforted by the fact that I knew some tips on how to take multiple choice exams (e.g. Never leave any question unanswered, if unsure of your answer, tick a, etc.). So I sat down in the waiting area expecting the worst and bracing myself for more Manoy-induced headaches when they called my name, “Miss Toe, Miss Toe, please proceed to the puno ng langka” (jackfruit tree).
The what? Feelings of both relief and horror came over me. Relief because I supposed that proceeding to the puno ng langka means that I passed the written. And horror because I suddenly realized that I had to take the practical exam and without the langka (jackfruit), I don’t know what a puno ng langka looks like.
I eventually found the puno ng langka (it was right in front of me as the guard who thought I must be an idiot pointed out), and after going home to change my shoes (they didn’t allow me to take the practical in my wedged sandals), I proceeded to the driving course nervously. I haven’t driven a manual car in about four years and after my accident in Phnom Penh (see this post), I kind of got traumatized and I haven’t driven at all in more than a year. Thankfully, they allowed me to use my Dad’s car which Manoy dutifully brought to driving course (though, I don’t know what use that would do me as I’ve never driven my Dad’s car before). Manoy, always trying to be helpful, didn’t turn off the engine so at least I’m sure that I wouldn’t flunk the part where I have to start the car.
Anyway, I just turned on my chatty self and chatted up my examiner asking him about his family and all, at the same time praying that the engine wouldn’t die on me especially as we were going up the ramp and excusing myself for braking too hard. When the examiner learned where I was working, he started asking about passports (as if all I do is issue passports) and I explained to him the entire procedure. Hey, I wasn’t about to do him any more favors than advice. Didn’t I go through all the right procedures to get my driver’s license? I’m sure he could very well do the same with his passport. Anyway, without even reaching higher than second gear in driving, but going up to fourth gear in charm, I passed my practical.
And of course, I had to wait wait wait some more. Then, at about 4 pm, I finally got my license… correct spelling, name changed to my married name, and three more years until I’m required to go through the disgusting drug test again.
So what do I look like in my driver’s license photo? Not as pretty as Tin-Tin in her post here, I’m afraid. In this travel post, I have this quote about passport photos from Al Gore..
Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.
Well, to apply that in the present situation,
Getting your driver’s license and going through the disgusting drug test is LTO’s way of making you look like your driver’s license photo.
And that is exactly what I looked like with my wavy hair getting all frizzed up with the humidity, all the pores in my skin magnifying themselves in all their glory, and my face looking plain puffy and harassed. And now that I’m about to negotiate the chaotic streets of Manila, the quote could go like this,
Driving in Manila is the Philippines’ way (or Bayani’s way?) of making you look like your driver’s license photo.
Technorati tags: driver’s license
Driving
driver’s license examination
Land Transportation Office
drug test
humor
- Toe’s Tips on Passing the Philippine Bar Examination
- Do You Want to be a Foreign Service Officer (FSO)?
- Recall Order!
- Of Packing and Unpacking
- Point of Order
Print This Post
Whoah! Didn’t know that getting a license there at home involved all that! I knew I had a driver’s license before but the only thing I remember was our driver just handed it to me. Shame on me! Anyways, I went through all the works getting one here in Thailand (minus the drug test, they didn’t have that then).
About the photo, I still have yet to see someone who looks nice in their driver’s license photo. Dito medyo may chance ka maging maganda kasi you bring your own photograph to the LTO.
wow, P300 for just the drug test? sa dami ng mga kumukuha/napaparenew ng license baka pwede nang masama sa funds ang pag-aayos nung toilet…
andami rin palang requirements sa pagkuha ng lisensya. parang mas gusto ko na lang tuloy habambuhay nagcocommute hehehe.
Manila traffic, WATCH out for Toe!
Those darn id pix! They never ever make you look pretty
But, good show! Toe for breezing through the written and the actual driving tests ~0~
I see you had a tough day. Ready to tackle the Manila traffic?
una sa lahat, welcome back to Manila! i’ve heard my friend whine about getting her driver’s license and i thought it was bad enough not until i read your post, hehe. at wala pa akong nakitang photo sa driver’s license na hindi harrassed ang itsura ha. no wonder.
Oh well, at least the renewing and processing of DLs these days are much, much faster. Time was when one had to make do with a temporary paper license issued by the department while you wait three months minimum for your license card. With the computerization program, one can now get his/her license within 30 minutes. Unless of course, you have been remiss in renewing your license for several years…
About that drug test and medical exams, I think they’re totally useless and it’s just another way for the government to milk more money out of Pinoy motorists…
Halfway through reading your post, I checked my driver’s license and guess what! IT’S GOING TO EXPIRE ON JANUARY 5, 2009!!! @%$#@ anak ng…parang ang dami atang mag e-expire sa akin next year hehe sabi ng colleague ko dito na pinay wag ko na daw problemahin kasi di naman na ako magda-drive sa pinas…uhhmm maybe, maybe not. Parang na O-OC na naman ako hehe
Anyway gosh…the whole day ka na nasa LTO, imagine! Pero funny yung puno ng langka hehe ako when I got my driver’s license iba kumuha ng exam ko hahaha
btw…the medical exam is really a waste of time and money IMO.
Parang ayoko na tuloy mag-aral mag drive. Bakit yung iba ang bilis makakuha ng driver’s license? Sana man lang yung higpit ng LTO eh para sa lahat no.
i originally planned to have my driver’s license this year pero sa dami ng mga nangyari at nangyayari ngayon, i might postponed it for next year, besides kailangang malaman ko muna ang speed limit sa school zone, 80 kph ba? hehehe.
nowadays, when one is getting a license (any kind of license) andaming requirements and on every turn, me bayad and you always have to deal with a robotic attitude of some government employees that i think need some orientation on how to make an eye contact, how to smile and how to properly punch the stapler.
kamot na lang sa ulo.
That was one hell of a ride. Napakastrict naman diyan tungkol sa drugs. Dito, very open ang use and abuse of drugs pero wala kaming ganyan. Sa tingin ko, it will be against human rights for them to subject you into that kind of testing. I can just see that our charter of rights is going to be violated..boohoo..
when you’re not paying anyone under the table, it would take you the whole day to get a driver’s license. if you’re in a hurry, you need to spend at least 1000 pesos to get your license in an hour, no driving test pa. but the drug test is compulsory kahit may “kapit” ka pa sa LTO.:D congratulations on your driver’s license…drive safely!
Haha, what an adventure that turned out to be! I don’t have a license, and I think it’s mainly because I don’t want to endure the LTO experience. But there have been plenty of times when I wished I could drive myself around…
ehehe.. welcome to the philippines!
hehe.. and you spent the whole day getting your license renewed !
Coming from a country that had no rules in driving LOL, I guess you needed a real refresher course
I didn’t know that rule (taking the disgusting drug test) existed, mind you I’m not a driver, so what do I know.
congrats on getting your driving license, and for making me laugh through your humourous post, thanks
OT…I heard na hindi na raw gaanong matraffic sa Manila, dahil sa presyo ng gasolina, totoo ba to?
The process is indeed an improvement from the previous one but still horrendous for it required you to spend an entire day at the LTO.
Oh well, at least you made it and that you don’t have to come back to retake any test.
Oh my! expired na rin pala ang license. i would have to go through your ordeal come december. pero teka, di ba me binibigay na test papers na me sagot na? he he. ganun na lang kunin ko, he he
my driver’s license which was issued August 97 will expire in year 2022 when i turn 60 while yours has to be renewed every 3 years? that is too soon?
hahahaha. parang ordeal talaga ang pagkuha mo ng drivers license ha. ako, naubos lang oras pero di nahirapan. and hindi talga yucky yung cr sa drug test.
pero you’re right, natakpan nga mukha mo ng hair mo sa picture. sorry ate toe…
pero mukha pa din ni dra. cristina yang. hehe ;p
it really is an ordeal, though i heard that this is a much improved LTO compared to a few years ago when one does not have a choice but to deal with fixers. and one could have a license without going through some other processes, like–money talks.
i applied for a student driver’s license about 1-1/2 year ago, and it was just that–a student driver’s license, i guess it has expired already. on first try one of my sons almost lost his ateneo sense of value–wanted to given at the man who made him drive the owner type jeepney which seemed to be as old and as outmoded as WW2 tanks, when in fact, he could have been allowed to use our own car. i had to humble myself, talked with his boss, so as to allow my son to immediately re-take the actual driving test, otherwise, he would have waited for another 3 months or so.
you should go to the national statistics office for another adventure, lol
I think when you know how to drive in Manila you’re a good driver and you can drive any country
! Philippine style is defensive driving, I don’t know if I get back to Manila I will have the courage to drive. Kaya BRAVO Toe, I am sure you’ll make it ! Good luck and tell us your driving adventures 
!
wow, that’s quite an ordeal just for a driver’s license. I don’t recall taking a drug test for a license here in the states. I couldn’t handle manila traffic. the mrt will do for me. in fact, i’m going to blog about that pretty soon. hehe
We’re in the same situation, well, almost. I lost my licence in Thailand and I have yet to return to Manila, so I’m not sure what to expect but I guess with your post, I now have an idea. I just hope that they will have an online renewal in the future.
iba yan sa akin…sa exam ko about 10 years ago, the examiner told us…lahat ng sagot B except Number x,x,x and x. wag nyo perfekin
got my license but i dont drive…call it license w/o driving until i bought my own car
Hello Webmaster,
I am H. and interested in sponsoring your blog and I am contacting you to ask if
you are interested in blog post sponsorship. Please let me know if you have any further questions and if you are interested on this offer.
Yours truly,
H.
k5sino@bigstring.com
Haha, Toe! You have finally, utterly CONVINCED me NOT to drive at all—not with the kind of drivers we have in this great city and certainly not with what you had to bravely (heroically) go through at the LTO!! I would choose Manoy anytime and just take Bonamine before I get into the car. Hehe…hope we can meet up one of these days!
Pag uwi ko sa Pilipinas, eksaktong expired na ang license ko. Pasalamat nalang ako sa one-stop shops, kung hindi, ubos ang bakasyon ko sa pag-renew. Hindi na tayo nagkita ulit dito. Maybe someday.
back in manila for good?
Only Toe can make applying for a driver’s license appear like a world war 2 epic, with so much blood and gore. haha Enjoyed this. Made me glad I never ever have to get one, being driven rather than drivelly, i mean driving. No, that’s not quite true. I made my incapacity a bit glam, didn’t I? That’s style.
hushhh!Pinoy lifestyle..this is it:)
haaay, ang hirap talaga ng napakamabusising proseso. ewan ko ba kung nasaan ang logic ng mga ito! buti na lang may blog para mailabas ang pagkabwisit! Toe, punta na ako ng Cambodia next week….. reviewhin ko nga mga blogs mo….
Hi Toe, out of topic! Find out the whole story why I changed the totality of my blog ! Take care and be careful !! Please change your link, thanks !
That was one hell of a runaround before you got your license renewed. But anyhow, congratulations although it looked more of a Survivor contest than a license examination procedure.
It’s much easier getting a license here in cambodia! just give your papers and all to a khmer firend and they arrange everything for you… voila!
don’t you miss how things work here? lol.
“After the man before me did his thing (with the door open, mind you)”… well we men don’t have the same privileges like women… we need to pee with the door open… I guess they are afraid we could bring urine from the outside.
Something I always do since I can’t pee on command… and being a foreigner I can avail the same privileges as women have… pee behind a closed door…
Congratulations for getting your driver license… now the hard part… driving in Manila!
By the way… I am blogging again… and enjoying it.
Glad to be back here!
Hey Toe, just dropping in and wondering how you are
Hey Toe, why are you not writing anymore?
congratulations! gaano katagal bago ibinigay sa yo resulta ng urine test? pagkaabot ba binigay na? a friend told me that experience she had with LTO. ha ha horrible
Hiya Toe!
Just learned that you’re back in Philippine soil!
I’ve not gotten my driver’s license in the last ten years (since doc said I had a spinal injury that prevents me from turning my head … without turning my entire body) although I did try once (just in case I could drive again) but when I saw this big big pool of stagnant water in the middle of the LTC office – uso pa man din ang dengue noon – plus I was told I had to take a drug test and pee in a small cubicle near the LTO office, huwag na lang.
Masyado na yata akong late but it seems you’ve not updated lately. Just taking advantage of the sem break.
hi ms toe. i really enjoyed reading this post. i was actually scouring the net for a kumukutikutitap piece but i got hooked on your blog site instead. cheers!
[...] Read more in Toe’s Kurokuroatbp. [...]
I think you can get the drug testing done in an accredited center. I learned that the hard way though. Although I regularly to to the hospital which is an accredited center, I decided to have it done at LTO because they might not accept results from outside. True, the bathrooms look disgusting and the laboratories do not look like they can process clean results. When I was done, I saw a flyer that say tests from outside are acceptable. I’m doing that next time.
I was laughing my heart out all the way while reading this!
Now I’m afraid to have my license! haha… afraid of the disgusting toilet that god knows who used before me.
Well as you guys probably already know there are plenty of Renewal Centers all around NCR (Not sure about the provinces). I went to go renew my license 3 weeks ago and I was just surfing the net for tagalog words and I came across this post.
It’s funny to me. Sorry, I know it’s horrible. But when I went to renew my license it wasn’t all that bad. Given that I went to a renewal center in Makati. Ayala MRT station to be exact.
I got there around 8:30 but the place didn’t open until 9AM so I had a friend buy bread at some bakery next door to the LTO place. Line got longer as it grew closer to 9AM. Be wary of “singit” people.
So the window procedure still in effect.
Step 1: or Window 1 – Get application form. Present OLD license AND TIN ID
Step 2: No Window – Gotta go next door for drug/medical exam
Step 3: Pay. Fill Cup, Get Blood Pressure, Read Chart (Yeah when they took my BP I was kind of surprised that they actually do medical related things to you during your medical exam. Go figure!)
Step 4: Wait for Results – This is the part that sucks. It took almost 45 minutes from the time I was released. I guess they really tested it… or did they?
Step 5: Window 2 – Submit results/documents/application form (After this.. you’d want to go ahead and get freshen up for the next step.)
Step 6: No window – Picture Time
Step 7: Window 3 – Pay
Step 8: Window 4 – Release of new license.
I recommend going to the Ayala station MRT renewal center. Unlike East Ave., the waiting area (while waiting for any procedure that has to do with Windows 1-4) has AC (Aircon/Air Conditioner). The only down part is that the medical exam and drug test is in this little itty bitty room/office next door so it will tend to get hot after a while. Best to have someone with you so you can switch places going in and out for fresh air while in line waiting for your name to be called out either for another exam or the results.
Word of advice: The application that they give you in Window 1 – FILL IT OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN so you can just go straight through to the drug/medical exams.
All in all we got out roughly 11:30-11:45 not bad at all.
[...] check this article for requirements needed to get a student a non-professional driver’s license. Blogger Toe also shares his step-by-step experience applying for getting a license at the LTO main [...]