Sep 13 2007

If Santa

Published by Toe at 9:47 am under Personal, Philippines

If Santa were real, how would he do his job in the Philippines?

How could he wear his red furry suit and his red furry hat,

When Christmases in the Philippines are unbelievably scorching hot?

How could he climb down the chimney, when Filipinos don’t even know what’s a chimney?

If he climbs through a window plank, he might be mistaken to be a member of the Akyat-Bahay Gang.

And Santa might end up spending Christmas Eve, at the Makati City Jail Precinct.

How could the reindeers fly through the sky? They might bump all the flyovers in EDSA from SM North to Pasay.

And on Christmas morning, the tabloid headline would be… Rudolph, nasagasaan mg MRT, PATAAAAY!

It’s 103 days before Christmas. Have you been naughty or have you been nice?

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53 responses so far

53 Responses to “If Santa”

  1. #   If Santa by The Philippines According to Blogson 13 Sep 2007 at 9:49 am

    [...] Read more in Toe’s Kurokuroatbp. [...]

  2. # carlottaon 13 Sep 2007 at 11:09 am

    hehe this is such a funny post. when i was a kid i did wonder how santa claus could have fitted into the tubo sa bubong which i’ve mistaken for a chimney. :D advance happy christmas hehehe :)

  3. # Wilon 13 Sep 2007 at 11:51 am

    What??? Santa’s not real???? hehehe

    Kawawa nga si Rudolph. First, he’s not allowed to join in any reindeer games. he then gets the sled gig, but then gets hit by an MRT train. Hindi ba nakita ng MRT conductor yung shiny nose? :D

    Naughty or nice? I’ve been nice….. of course. hehe

  4. # ajayon 13 Sep 2007 at 12:29 pm

    hehehe. Thanks for reminding me Toe. Panahon na naman ng limpak limpak na gastos:)

  5. # Daphneon 13 Sep 2007 at 1:31 pm

    Whoa I had to check the date I thought December na but you have a good point kaso nga lang I don’t believe in Santa Claus :D

    I’ve been naughty and nice … we can be both, right? ;)

  6. # Major Tomon 13 Sep 2007 at 3:05 pm

    Oo nga no, malapit ng Christmas. Thanks for reminding me and that I’d be good so that I could have an Xmas gift from my wife when noche buena comes. Last year, he gave me a cheap watch. I asked her if “time is cheap” or was I “cheap”. She just smiled. And that’s cruel.

  7. # Toeon 13 Sep 2007 at 3:27 pm

    Carlotta, hahaha… Santa must be like Mr. Fantastic for him to fit into the tubo/chimney. :) I’ve wondered that myself as a kid too… my parents just said that he knew magic. :)

  8. # Toeon 13 Sep 2007 at 3:35 pm

    Wil, oh… sorry to burst your bubble… but mahihirapan talaga si Santa pumuntang Pilipinas. :)

    Yeah, I guess Rudolph isn’t so smart… he lost in the reindeer game called, habulan-MRT. :)

  9. # Toeon 13 Sep 2007 at 3:40 pm

    Ajay, haaaay… stressful talaga sa pitaka ang Pasko. :)

  10. # Toeon 13 Sep 2007 at 3:43 pm

    Daphne, hahaha… oo naman… I think you’re too old to believe in Santa by now. But it would have been easier to believe in Santa as a kid in Belgium… at least there’s snow there. :)

    And how were you naughty, pray tell? ;)

  11. # Toeon 13 Sep 2007 at 3:46 pm

    Major Tom, your wife has a sense of humor. :) But then, it’s the thought that counts, right? :)

  12. # aueeon 13 Sep 2007 at 4:37 pm

    If Santa comes to Metro Manila, he’d suffocate in mid-air due to smog!
    :-P

    I have to say lately I’ve been naughty. And my santa keeps visiting every night huh! har har

  13. # ladybugon 13 Sep 2007 at 5:04 pm

    Mananawagan na ako sa mga inaanak ko na tag-hirap ako ngayon….hehehehe. Seriously, parang kailan lang kaka-pasko lang, tapos heto, papalapit na naman ang pasko. Hay buhay.

  14. # myepinoyon 13 Sep 2007 at 6:08 pm

    Tha is a good question. But Santa I guess learned something from Filipino’s creativity and adaptability.

    So, now, he is doing the things he must do as Santa inside the Malls. Kaya Mall hopping na lang ginanagawa nya. I guess nakita na nya scenario tulad sa mga binanggit mo above. LOL

  15. # careyon 13 Sep 2007 at 8:30 pm

    If Santa were real and he’s in Pinas, I imagine him to be guesting on TV and being interviewed by Boy Abunda… or making some special appearance for politicians. hehehe….

    I have been real nice this year… so I do hope I get my Christmas wish! :) How about you Toe?

  16. # piningon 13 Sep 2007 at 9:01 pm

    what a funny and perceptive post Toe :-)
    I believed in Santa until I was 11 I think and it wasn’t too bad actually, until…
    103 days… is that all? I hope I’ll be ready before then coz my in-laws are spending Xmas with us this time… oh well, could be worse…

  17. # snglguyon 13 Sep 2007 at 9:45 pm

    Hasn’t anyone noticed yet? Santa never comes to good old RP. Why? Well first, he has to deal with discourteous immigration officers, then he has to negotiate Manila’s horrendous X’mas traffic. After hurdling that, he now has to worry about carnappers (or slednappers in his case). And lastly, with his huge bag of goodies, he will most likely be a target of muggers and mulcting cops. :-D

  18. # momoftwoon 14 Sep 2007 at 3:41 am

    hahahaha..funny! ay “BER” months na pala…I still have presents to give from last year na di ko na deliver so those kids will get it after I year, I promise :D

  19. # Zherwinon 14 Sep 2007 at 9:15 am

    i think i’ve been nice, uhm, naughty, uhm nice… pwedeng both? hehehe.

    kaya tuwang tuwa ang kapitbahay ko, di kasi nya tinanggal yung MGA nakasabit na santa claus at christmas lights sa harap ng bahay nila, dumaan na ang new year, valentine, at guilty verdict ni erap me santa claus pa rin sila! hehehe.

    merry christmas ninang. :D

  20. # Toeon 14 Sep 2007 at 9:35 am

    Auee, haha… that’s funny… Santa suffocating at our smog. So who is your Santa visiting you every night ha? ;)

  21. # Toeon 14 Sep 2007 at 9:37 am

    Ladybug, kawawang mga inaanak… bigyan mo na lang sila ng tag-isang choc-nut… happy na ‘yon. Ako, happy na ko d’on. ;)

  22. # Toeon 14 Sep 2007 at 9:38 am

    Myepinoy, ah… matalino si Santa… alam nyang aircon yung mga mall. :) O, matalino yung mga mall owner – alam nila dadagsain sila pag nandon si Santa? :)

  23. # Toeon 14 Sep 2007 at 9:41 am

    Carey, naku oo nga… pinapagkampanya na si Santa para sa mga politicians. Tapos, tatanungin pa siya ng mga reporter kung kanino siya kampi kay Joey o kay Willie. :)

    I’ve been nice, definitely. I’m such a boring manang. :)

  24. # Toeon 14 Sep 2007 at 9:42 am

    Pining, me too… until about 10 or 11, I believed in Santa. Yes… well, 102 days… that’s still 3 months… lots more time to procrastinate. :) With your in-laws there, more gifts for your kids. :)

  25. # Toeon 14 Sep 2007 at 9:43 am

    Snglguy, hahaha… you’re so funny! I think Santa has been issued a travel advisory not to come to the Philippines. What with immigration officers, pollution, cops… well, he does need to lose some weight and I guess all that stress might help him. Filipino kids just shouldn’t feed him with lechon. :)

  26. # Toeon 14 Sep 2007 at 9:49 am

    Momoftwo, gifts from last year? Hahaha… oh well, there’s always this year and next year. :) Ber months nga… but it’s still hot here in Cambodia. :)

  27. # Toeon 14 Sep 2007 at 9:51 am

    Zherwin, haha… kelan kita naging inaanak? :) Ang talino ng kapitbahay mo ha… magaya nga. Para nga naman buong taon ang pasko. :)

  28. # ipanemaon 14 Sep 2007 at 1:06 pm

    ayyyy! first Christmas post!

    lol…very realistic talaga yan…dapat Santa Claus natin naka barong kaya. :)

    ako, di naman naughty, sad lang. i hope this will be a beautiful christmas for all of us! ayan unang bati . :)

  29. # bwon 14 Sep 2007 at 2:08 pm

    Santa in shorts and he needs to shave too pag pupunta sya sa Pinas :)

    We’re slowly donning light sweaters and jackets here, sad that summer is leaving :( Xmas is fast approaching – thoughts of snow and todo gastos is quite depressing hahaha :)

  30. # Adeon 14 Sep 2007 at 2:21 pm

    Tapos nagulpi na rin cya ng baranggay dahil sa pagiging akyat-bahay. =P

  31. # Bryanon 14 Sep 2007 at 4:28 pm

    i’ve never really reflected on santa on a political point of view but why not

    i think he’ll do just fine on a Pinoy Christmas, on a Pinoy setting…may fake snow nga sa christmas tree ng neighbor namin sa Pamngasinan e, santa pa kaya…

    sana lang sexy at bata pa si santa…he may drop by through my chimney anytime

  32. # chaseon 14 Sep 2007 at 7:48 pm

    Christmas is always the time of the year that I always look forward to

  33. # aueeon 14 Sep 2007 at 10:36 pm

    hubby of course hehe
    :-P

  34. # Ferdzon 15 Sep 2007 at 11:52 am

    Huy! Christmas countdown na! Hehe. Eh dapat si Santa mag tricycle na lang sa manila para mas mabilis maka ikot.

  35. # melaion 15 Sep 2007 at 12:17 pm

    hehehehe ito ang naughty
    at ako ang nice lol!

  36. # Toeon 15 Sep 2007 at 1:51 pm

    Ipanema, first Christmas post ba ‘to? Funny because there’s no Christmas here. :) Naku, if Santa wears a barong, ilang metrong jusi kaya ‘yon? I do hope we all have a beautiful and meaningful Christmas this year. And yes… yours is the first Christmas greeting! :)

  37. # Toeon 15 Sep 2007 at 1:52 pm

    BW, oh yes… it’s September… must be getting cold in Canada. :) Santa in shorts… haha… parang ang sagwa! :)

  38. # Toeon 15 Sep 2007 at 1:54 pm

    Ade, naku… walang gift from Santa ‘yang mga Baranggay tanod na ‘yan. :)

  39. # Toeon 15 Sep 2007 at 1:55 pm

    Bryan, hahaha…. only you would think of a sexy and young Santa. :)

  40. # Toeon 15 Sep 2007 at 1:57 pm

    Chase, Christmas must be beautiful in your part of the world. Here in Cambodia, walang Pasko. :(

  41. # Toeon 15 Sep 2007 at 1:58 pm

    Auee, so Hubby dresses up in a red suit, huh! ;)

  42. # Toeon 15 Sep 2007 at 1:59 pm

    Ferdz, wag lang de-padyak yung tricycle kc kawawa naman yung driver. :)

  43. # Toeon 15 Sep 2007 at 2:01 pm

    Melai, ahhhh… you’re nice? Still 3 months to go… lots of time to get naughty. :)

  44. # iskooon 15 Sep 2007 at 9:17 pm

    grabe di ko namalayan malapit na nga palang mag-pasko….

  45. # SexyMomon 16 Sep 2007 at 8:21 am

    hilarious!

    what have come to your mind when you wrote about santa in mid-september? oh i know–the “ber” months have come, and we pinoys start the longest christmas in the world…merry christmas!

  46. # Toeon 16 Sep 2007 at 7:54 pm

    Iskoo, hindi naman… malayo pa… napaisip lang ako ke Santa, di ko mawari kung bakit. :)

  47. # Toeon 16 Sep 2007 at 7:55 pm

    SexyMom, I don’t know really. It’s so unchristmassy here even if it’s already the 25th of December. Was just thinking I guess how in the world Santa went to our house when I was a child. :)

  48. # hazeon 17 Sep 2007 at 1:20 am

    I so loooovvvveee your humour TOE !!! Hahaha oo nga Christmas is in the air na (sa atin lang :) ) ! Dito as in hindi ko feel buti na lang we have the Filipino community to put the ambiance and me who’s unstoppingly bombarded by my kids with a big question “What about our gifts Maman ?” :)

  49. # Toeon 17 Sep 2007 at 10:29 am

    Haze, there is no Christmas at all in Cambodia because they’re buddhists here. :( Most of the Filcom and westerners go home for the Christmas holidays too so it’s really up to us to make Christmas special. :) Oh, your children are so cute. Christmas will always be special for children. :)

  50. # Sidneyon 18 Sep 2007 at 11:57 am

    Tsk,tsk… Do you mean that Santa Claus isn’t for real!

    Yes, I have been a very good boy and I expect tons of gifts from Santa!

  51. # Toeon 18 Sep 2007 at 4:31 pm

    Sidney, hahaha… I don’t know if I’m going to believe that you’ve really been good. :)

  52. # annamanilaon 22 Sep 2007 at 4:42 pm

    Aww shucks, Toe, don’t remind me about Christmas. It sort of puts me into a panic state.

  53. # Toeon 24 Sep 2007 at 11:09 am

    Annamanila, you can use my sister’s canvass bags as Christmas gifts. ;)

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