Aug 03 2007
Cooking with Toe
I know a lot of people, especially Filipino women, who after slaving all day in the kitchen, refuse to eat the food they cooked no matter how delicious. They prefer other people to enjoy, and hopefully, to praise the food they have cooked. I remember our Ilonggo cook, Yaya Lety, would always say “Basta busog na mga bibi ko, busog na rin ako.” (As long as my babies are full, I’m satisfied.) Bibi is Ilonggo for baby. 
I feel much the same way when I cook. I also don’t want to eat the food I prepared — but it’s because it usually tastes horrible.
Yes, I’m forced to cook sometimes, now that Honey is not here to woo me with his delectable creations. And as Pinayhekmi pointed out, Instant Ramen is okay once in a while, but not for two whole months. So I simply have to roll up my sleeves and tackle the big bad kitchen from time to time.
Once, I stir-fried some pork ribs. When I sat down to eat and sliced a piece, blood was still oozing out. I texted the results of my culinary attempt to Honey. He replied telling me that I should cook the ribs for four minutes on each side. Unfortunately, he told me that after I had to return the ribs from my plate back to the pan no less than three times.
So the next time I stir-fried meat, I cooked it for four minutes on each side… only that, the meat I was cooking was not pork but beef and it got as tough as a pair of brand new Gregg leather shoes. Again, too late the hero… Honey texted me that I should cook beef only for a short time – that was after I almost broke my jaw.
Another time, I found this recipe on the Internet – microwaved salmon. I was excited when I read it… I could have a sumptuous dinner in only a few minutes. I just had to put some salt, lemon, pepper, and other spices on the salmon and pop it in the microwave. That was the worst salmon I’ve ever tasted. Duh! How could anyone possible mess up salmon??? Salmon is delicious no matter how you prepare it. Well, just give me the salmon and I could assure you that I’d do a good job of making something horrible out of it.
It’s not really my fault I don’t know how to cook. When I was young, I did attempt to learn to cook in the kitchen. However, Yaya Lets, who spoiled me rotten, would be so filled with pity when she sees me crying while cooking. Well, of course I was crying — I was chopping onions, wasn’t I?
But Yaya Lets would continue her lament and exclaim, “Kawawa naman bibi ko. Ako na lang gagawa niyan.” (My poor baby! Let me do that for you). And it would go on for every difficult task that I would have to do like turning on the stove or breaking an egg or peeling a banana. Naturally, she would end up cooking the entire meal herself (much to the relief of the entire family) and I would end up watching TV or doing something just as unproductive.
When I first arrived in Cambodia five years ago, I thought I’d whip something up in the kitchen to inspire my new bridegroom. So I texted Mom. Bad idea! Yaya Lets has spoiled Mom just as much as she has spoiled me when it comes to cooking. This is how my text conversation with Mom went:
Toe: Mom, how do you make chicken sandwich spread?
Mom: You need chicken breast, mayonnaise, onions, etc.
Toe: How much chicken do I need?
Mom: How many sandwiches are you going to make?
Toe: Just one. Honey doesn’t like chicken sandwich.
Mom: Oh, you just buy a chicken sandwich then.
Toe: Ok. Thanks Mom, you’re a big help.
Anyway, not all the food I’ve cooked for myself for the last two months have been revolting, thank heavens. After all, if you can read, you can cook. What are recipe books for? If you have an Internet connection, you can cook. How hard is it to google food? So thanks to recipe books and the WWW, I did come up with a couple of masterpieces.
To be continued.
Gawaing Pansanay (Seatwork):
- Give me your recipe of chicken sandwich in textspeak.
- What is the worst food that you cooked?
- What is the worst food that your husband/wife/mom/partner or other loved one has cooked and what was your reaction? Did you smile, said “masarap” (delicious), and threw up on the nearby plant when the cook was not looking or did you wreak domestic havoc by telling the truth?
- Do you think I could someday achieve my dream of becoming a housewife?
- Cooking with Toe 2
- Hainanese Chicken Rice and Pasta with Garden Herbs
- Pasta Alla Toul Kork
- How to Cook Microwave Puttanesca if You Don’t Have a Kitchen and You Don’t Know How to Cook
- Holiday Culinary Treats
Print This Post
whoa, a couple of masterpieces! we’ll wait, we’ll wait!
(mahabang comment ito)
1. (txtspk ha) 1 cup cookd chkn, shrded, mayo (dpends on hw creamy u wnt it, bt me 1 cup dn), chiz (keso, di escudero ha & also dpnds hw cheezy u wnt it, bt me, grated and 1 cup? ), carots (ct into cubes, d smolst posble), onions (tagalog, cubes, smolst posble). jst mx evrythng & ul hv a mess. hehehe. but seriously, that’s all i know or that’s how i saw a chicken sandwich spread is being made. of course, a bread is a must and lettuce to make it look even more appetizing. naks.
2. worst food i cooked: sunog na sinaing i think, or sunog na pritong isda
3. when my mom cooked a longaniza which, unknown to her of course, was mixed with soap, and the abnormal child that i am actually liked it. good thing walang nangyari masama sa amin o sa akin (or so i thought hehe).
4. of course you can, and you are already. the cooking part is just an improvement you can definitely achieve. o-ha.
1. Simple Chix Sandwich – cooked chix meat, himayin then simply put mayo. dpnds on how many shrded chix meat u hav & how much mayo u want to put just dont ovrdo it para balance ang lasa.
2. worst food – when i cooked spag sauce & added vetsin instead of sugar mistakenly given to me by the maid… I kept on tasting and wondered why it’s salty and so I kept on putting the disguised sugar into it… until i tasted the disguised sugar myself then realized what a huge mistake i’ve made and waste of spag sauce.
3. my dad likes to experiment things especially when it comes to cooking food. Sometimes, the turned out okay but most of the times it was not edible. And the inedible foods were left on the table mostly uneaten, si tatang lang ang kumakain ng kanyang niluto, even our kusinera avoided it.
4. why not? start with simplest ones like frying eggs, scramble eggs, boiling eggs; then evolve to sinangag, frying tocinos, longanisa (should be boiled first before stir fry); then try making spaghetti sauces or pasta sauces (these are one of the simplest yet very satisfying) – basta balance yung taste. My mom, beholder of hundreds of recipes, started without any knowledge of cooking when she married my tatang, but now mas magaling pa siya magluto ng ulam kaysa sa mga kusinera namin.
I agree to start with simple dishes then evolve to complicated ones. You’ll never know there is a cook in you that is waiting to be released. And usually when I do stir fry with pork or beef the temperature is on medium heat so that the pork or beef are cook thoroughly. Coz if you place it on high temps it may look cook or fried on the outside but not on the inside.
And I think I am a different case since I love to eat what I cook.
Hahahaha. Natawa naman ako. Noong unang nakita ko yung “bibi”, akala ko, tinutukoy ni Yaya Lety yung mga swans niya! Baby pala.
Regarding Orbis quod Sapor, sure! Hindi naman copyrighted ang phrase na iyan sa akin eh. Bakit? Pinaiikot mo rin ba ang asawa mo? Do you rotate your husband as well?
Ok, here are my answers to your seatwork, pero sorry, believe it or not, I am so grateful for the predictive function of the cellphone, I never use textspeak.
1) Buy fresh chicken breasts, mga 1 kilo. Boil them in water until fully cooked, 30 minutes perhaps. You’ll see it when the oil floats to the top and the color is different. Then, take them out, and manually, yes, by hand, dissect it, the smaller the better. Then, mix it with mayo (about one jar), salt, and pepper, and perhaps paprika, if you want it to be a little deviled. Add a dollop of pickle relish. This will approximately make one bowl of chicken sandwich filling.
2) The worst food I cooked was something called “Tunisian Vegetable Stew”. This was 2 years ago, when I tried being a vegetarian. This stew called for cabbage, bell peppers, garbanzos, and spices. Well, hindi ka naman makakabili ng 1/2 head of cabbage, laging isang buo. Hindi ko gusto ang lasa, but I was forced to eat it for almost 2 weeks, simply because ang dami. Super bland niya, isip ko tuloy mas gusto ko Moroccan hindi Tunisian.
3) My mom attempted to cook beets a while ago. Russian yata ang recipe. Pero sa totoo lang, walang lasa, parang weak candy-like taste. Kulay violet pa! Supposedly ulam, pero super wala lang. Kaya sabi namin huwag na huwag na niyang uulitin.
4) Tsk tsk tsk. Bakit kasi inispoyl ni Yaya eh? My mom actually trained both of us siblings in cooking the moment we turned 15. So ayan tuloy, I live alone, and I know how to feed myself. Anyway, practice is the key. Know the basics, alamin ang senyales ng pagiging luto, sunog, at undercooked. Start with small things, like frying fish. Fry fish on both sides. Let the oil heat really well, and fry the fish. Kapag tumahimik na ang mantika, ibaligtad ang isda. Kapag tumahimik na ulit, ahunin na. There are things that simply cannot be measured by how many minutes something takes. Tantsahan lang ang iba.
Cheers.
Yes I was also spoiled by Yaya Lets . She did not give me a chance to get hold of the kitchen, but at least I can manage even if she is not around. At least I can stir fry, and I know if it still hilaw or already sunog.
Don’t worry your honey will be home soon.
visit pinoycook.net, Sassy Lawyer has a lot of easy recipes for great tasting meals & she’s got a section for meals-for-one
chicken sandwich? Just boil a chicken breast, cut into cubes, put a dollop of mayonaisse, some pepper & salt to taste & that’s it. If you want a sweeter version you can add a few teaspoon of pickle relish & nestle cream & some pineapple tidbits.
Goodluck. If you can boil water, then you can be a cook hehe
zhrwn, lnlgyn ng keso (chiz, di escudero) ang chix sndwch? pty ako jan sa cut in2 cubes smolest psble. hahaha… mx tgthr and make a mess????? mwhrhrhrhrhr!
Yikes! At least terno yung linuto mong sunog na sinaing sa sunog na pritong isda. 
Naku, abnormal child ka talaga…. soap-flavored longaniza. 
Masubukan nga ‘yan! 
I want to become a housewife with maids. 
Tin, you’re recipe for chicken sandwich sounds easy enough.
Hahaha… you kept on adding vetsin instead of sugar??? That is so funny. Haha… cute ni Tatang… kahit alaskado siya sa kusinera. 
Galing ng Mom mo… she learned. I don’t know if I have that aptitude. 
Chase, I think the cook in me is waiting to be trampled on and destroyed.
Oh, so that’s the problem… I think my heat is always too high. 
Yes, the foods you cook surely look good! 
LIW, wow you’re valedictorian in this seatwork!
Yup! Masarap din siya paikutin… especially when I want to buy something. 
Hey guess what… I also use the dictionary when I text. I find it much easier. Paprika and pickle relish huh? Okay, I will try that next time I make chicken sandwich. Tunisian Vegetable Stew sounds very exotic… but that’s also too much vegetables for me. Oooh… it’s hard to become a vegetarian isn’t it? Oh, I don’t even know what beets are. 
Good for you Mom for teaching you and your sister how to cook. It really is a good skill to learn. And guess what… girls like men who cook. 
Mommy, yeah… and I didn’t get your talent in sewing either.
Yeah… two weeks na lang? 
Auee, Nestle cream and pineapple tidbits? Oh, that’s different ha.
Oh, yeah… I could boil water allright… I have hope. 
I cannot reinterate enough just how lucky you are you have a hubby who cooks! If not kawawa ka naman Toe.
1. boil chkn, shrd n2 smol pcs, ad mayo, salt 2 taste, ad pprka 4 sum byte. Put mayo bth sides f bread, sprd chkn mix – i’m really terrible @ text speak
2. I tried cooking chicken with oyster sauce and veggies. While I was cooking the phone rang, I forgot to switch off the stove, the chicken and the veggies got really burned. I had a difficult time salvaging the pan and ended up throwing it away because it isn’t nice to have a black spot the size of my palm ruining the taste of everything I cooked on that pan.
3. this guy i was dating back in Dubai cooked this Egyptian dish for me. I had no idea what it was, except it was gooey green and tasted like spoiled food. Since I didn’t know any better i.e if it really tasted like that or if he ruined the recipe by overcooking it. I simply swallowed huge gobs of it by drinking loads of water after every spoonful. Worst thing though is he thought I liked it so he kept adding more to my plate.
4. Of course you can. Just read up on recipes from the Internet and as soon as your hubby comes home, watch him in the kitchen and learn from the master chef!
so what desperate housewife are you? let me guess… Susan?
1.) I do it the same way as Auee… sometimes I add sweetcorn
2.) worst food would be a flapjack… just can’t get it right, either it’s sloppy or overcooked…
3.) the husband cooked mashed potato and it was horrible! It was lumpy and tasteless so I told him… he never attempted to cook again and we lived happily ever after (in my dreams)
4.) just because you can’t/won’t cook doesn’t mean you’re less of a housewife… I’m sure you make up for it in other ways
Nakupo, hirap naman ng assignment. Puwede ba akong kumopya na lang sa iba??? Yung recipe for chix sandwich, kopya ko na lang sagot ni auee kasi mukhang simple lang eh…haha.
Worst food I cooked?? Siguro yung first venture ko into cooking — tinola. Bakit kamo? Kasi may dugo pa yung manok. Yung 3rd question, wala akong maisip…di kasi nagluluto asawa ko eh. Finally, about being a housewife, I think you will go where your heart leads you. Basta I know you’re destined for greatness someday because whatever it is you choose to do, you do it with all your heart. Kung papatuloy ka sa career mo, aangat ka talaga ng husto. Pero alam ko naman na hindi mo pababayaan ang family life mo. If you decide to be a housewife, I know you’ll try your best to be a great wife to your honey and a great mom to your kids. Either way, you’ll be successful. Sige, have a great weekend. 
I have a unique tuna spread recipe, so instead of chix, tuna na lang–it goes well with your jogging (hehe)! a can of tuna flakes, drained; onions, minced (up 2 u how much or how little), cream cheese (softened), pepper to taste, mix in a mixing bowl. Voila! Siempre to go well with your jogging, pwede din lite cream cheese…i guess you can get it there? And yes, I believe you can still be a housewife that cooks good meals–am sure you learned from you cooking mistakes naman, odivah?
I loved that text between you and your mom! Hilarious!
Okay, do you have an oven Toe? I will email you a salmon recipe that NO ONE CAN MESS UP, YES NOT EVEN YOU!
But you have to have an oven and access to ready-made onion mix. Let me know.
1. I agree with your mom, just buy one. Hehe.
2. Worst food I cooked was this Champignon chops. Looked so good, but it was so bland. Not my fault though. Woody bought, 98% fat free can of mushrooms!
3. Worst food that Woody cooked was this pork chop and rice concoction in a crock pot. It looked disgusting. Nobody would even taste it, not even him. This was just last week! So even the mighty falls sometimes.
4. If you are a wife and have a place to call home, then you are a housewife!
hahahaha your Mom is a nice adviser ! She is so funny !
Sagot sa mga gawaing Pansanay :
1. I don’t do sandwiches spread
!
2. The worst food I cooked was sinigang because I mixed pork and shrimp ! Even hubby was so hungry, hindi talaga nya nakain uminit pa ang ulo.
3. Hubby doesn’t cook but he’s gourmand and gourmette at the same time ! I am oblige to cook! I remember cooking rice with curry & paprika , it’s like a dogshit accdg. to hubby wwaaahhhhh !
4. YES YES YES ! Everything has said ! She married and love you for what you are and not for what you cannot do in the kitchen ! Everyone’s got talent and I’m sure you have you hidden one too !
P.S.
I have never touch kitchen cooking utensils until I got married ! My parents do the cooking! Now I am proud to say that I can cook ! I just learned from friends and now I surf on the internet
! Minsan iba pa rin ang lasa but what is important….I tried and I continue learning ! KAYA MO YAN TOE ! I maybe the worst person you will know if we speak about cooking !!!
He he he. I had a good time reading your cooking experiences, Toe.
When I cook stir-fry, I usually boil the meat in a little bit of water for a few minutes. Para medyo naluluto na siya nang konti.
Daphne, I don’t know nga how I’m surviving these two months without him e.
I’m also terrible at text speak because I use the predictive texting. But it’s good you’re terrible because that way, I could understand your recipe. 
Oh, additional mayo on the bread, huh? Oh, what a waste of chicken, veggies and pan! What did you eat after that? Egyptian dish? That sounds too exotic for me… I don’t know if I could eat anything that’s gooey green! About watching Honey cook, he usually asks me to do so. But I tell him that I’d watch him cook if he watches me wash the dishes. No deal! 
Pining, ahahaha… yeah… I’m just as klutzy as she is. Sweetcorn on chicken spread… sounds very interesting. Oh, I don’t know what’s flapjack. Haha… maybe your hubby intended it not to taste good so he wouldn’t have to cook again… that’s what I do sometimes.
Yes, I may not be able to cook… but I can order food. 
Ladybug, hey no cheating!
Oh yikes! Tinola cum dugo… very exotic… just tell those you served that’s how they do it in Timbuktu. 
Oh thanks… I think I’d make a great housewife… I’d hire wonderful maids. 
Have a nice weekend Ladybug!
Gypsy cream cheese with tuna spread… that sounds very interesting. It would indeed make a great light dinner after my running.
Can I use canned salmon instead of tuna? Uh… don’t really know if I learned from my cooking mistakes. 
Pinayhekmi, yeah… my Mom is a bit crazy, no?
Oh, do e-mail me your salmon recipe. We have an oven but I don’t know how to use it. But it’s time to learn… that we be a great surprise for Honey when he comes home… I’d serve him baked salmon. 
I probably could find onion mix at the super. Hahahaha… Woody really is so holistic! Oh, the mighty falls, huh! 
Yehey! I’m a housewife. 
Haze, my Mom has her sense of humor… it also grows with age.
Oh, you couldn’t mix pork and shrimp in sinigang? I didn’t know that. Hehehe… I wonder what’s french for dogshit! 
Oh, I’m so inspred… if you can learn to cook, I guess so can I. 
Niceheart, I think I did that with the chicken breast so that it’s easier to slice.
I could really be a disaster in the kitchen… but at least I’m not resorting to microwaved popcorn for dinner anymore. 
Well I don’t have any answer for numbers 1 and 2 since I don’t cook. And on the occasion that I do, it’s usually just eggs, spams and fried rice, hehe.
On #3, I wish I can remember the worst food my ex ever cooked for me. Buti na lang di ako nalason, haha.
On #4, it depends on how you will be able to balance your career and homemaking…
Hirap talaga ng na-spoiled no?
Snglguy, hey… even I can cook eggs… I’ve never tried fried rice though.
Hahaha… she may have tried you know, it just wasn’t effective. 
Microwave salmon? I never heard of that. I think the easiest way to cook salmon is to pop it in the oven for 20-30 minutes or just fry it on medium (as everyone is suggesting). Hey, youtube the upcoming masterpiece a la Emeril or Jacque Pepin.
Gawaing Pansanay answers:
1. hirap ng txtspk. I usuallly jst end up spelling da whole word.
2. meat that was rare when it was supposed to be well done.
3. I’ve been lucky enough to have great cooks cook my food.
4. Yes, although housewife/career woman seems like a tough gig.
Natawa naman ako kay Yaya Lets mo, I’m Ilonggo and it’s really true mahilig kaming patigasin ibang words haha.
2. I cooked Pancit (with sotanghon) guisado (was trying to impress my inlaws) when I arrived in the states few years ago. Nadamihan ko ng tubig yung noodles (siguro sa nerbyos hehe) and the family end up eating sinabawang pancit…kakahiya talaga! In fairness, naubos sya
3. Of course you can! Practice, practice!
Wil, I don’t know how to use the oven.
Maybe I’ll grill it… I have a really nice indoor griller. 
Yes… I prefer to use predictive texting too. No… I want to be housewife lang… no career… pwede kaya ‘yon? 
momoftwo, yeah… it’s funny but some of my friends call me bibi. Kc, when they call on the phone and Yaya Lets answers the phone, she’d call me, “Bibi!” and my friends would tease me endlessly.
Ah, sabihin mo na lang pancit guisado soup talaga ‘yon… must be good kung ubos. 